100 Reasons Why Its Great To Be A Guy

1.there is no #1 reason, and that's okay

2.Movie nudity is virtually always female

3.Child birth

4.A five day vacation requires only one suitcase

5.Monday Night Football

6.Belching is cool

7.Your bathroom lines are always 80% shorter

8.You can open all your own jars

9.Old friends don't give a crap if you've lost or gained weight

10.Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind

11.Screw up the laundry once, never allowed to do it again

12.Your ass is never a factor in a job interview

13.All your orgasms are real

14.Those chairs by the waiting room at lingerie shops are for you

15.Guys in hockey masks don't attack you

16.You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go

17.You can still get away with MAKING a Valentine's day card

18.You can go to the bathroom without a support group

19.Your last name stays put

20.You can understand Homer Simpson

21.You never get a stupid Love Quiz in GQ

22.You can kill your own food

23.The garage is all yours

24.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

25.Big Breasted Stripper days on Jerry Springer

26.We're treated like royalty when we're sick

27.You never have to clean the toilet

28.You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

29.Sex means never worrying about your reputation

30.Wedding plans take care of themselves

31.If someone forgets to invite you to something he or she is still your friend

32.Your underwear is $10 for a three pack

33.The National College Cheerleading Championship.

34.None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry

35.You don't have to shave below the neck

36.Scratching your ass is just fine

37.If you're 34 and single nobody notices

38.You can write your name in snow

39.Beer is a food group

40.Everything on your face stays its original colour

41.Chocolate is just another snack

42.You can be president

43.Going to the gym to look at the aerobic girls is called 'working out'

44.Flowers fix everything

45.You never have to worry about other people's feelings

46.You get to think about sex 90% of the day

47.You can wear a white shirt to a water park

48.Three pairs of shoes are enough

49.You can eat a banana in a hardware store

50.A 'mood swing' is a place, with a swing, where you get sex.

51.Foreplay is optional

52.Falling asleep right after sex

53.Nobody stops telling a dirty joke when you walk into the room

54.You can whip your shirt off on a hot day

55.Middle aged, big gut? No problem, it's expected.

56.Underwear lasts longer than most marriages

57.Car mechanics tell the truth

58.The belly button is a fantastic place to store corn chip crumbs

59.You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without thinking: He must be mad at me

60.The world is your urinal

61.Wake up, shower, eat, brush your teeth, leave... max 15 minutes.

62.You get to jump up and slap stuff

63.Hotwax never comes near your pubic area

64.One mood, all the time

65.Your virginity is never 'taken' away. You'd gladly give it to anyone that asks.

66.Father-in-laws are sweet older men. Mother-in-laws are nasty old itches.

67.You know at least twenty ways to open a beer bottle

68.You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing

69.Same work...more pay

70.Gray hair and wrinkles add character

71.You dont have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment

72.It's OK to marry a girl much younger than you if you have money

73.It's OK to cop a free feel when you cuddle.

74.With 400 million sperms per shot you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory

75.You never have to wear high heels.

76.Sometimes women will fight over you, and you get to watch

77.The remote is yours and yours alone

78.People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them

79.People never complain about men drivers

80.Drinking till you pass out is occasionally OK

81.Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers

82.You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mom

83.Breast augmentation on your wife is a gift to both of you

84.You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom

85.If you don't call your buddy when you say you will,he won't tell your friends you've changed

86.Someday you'll be a dirty old man, and you're looking forward to it.

87.You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*** it!"

88.If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit you might become lifelong buddies

89.Dad always let you stay out late while your sister had to be in before midnight

90.The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected

91.You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood

92.You're expected to stink if you work out

93.If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room

94.New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

95.If someone bothers you, you just don't talk to them and problem solved.

96.Telephone company commercials don't make you cry

97.Not liking a person does not eliminate having great sex with them

98.Girls play barbie. You had GI Joe

99.Baywatch

100.There is always a game on somewhere