A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent love-making session, How come you never tell me when you
have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One
afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to
her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love.
When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his
shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he
asked thinking him pretty weird.
The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she
asked where he'd been. The man replied, "I cannot tell a lie. My
secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to
her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep.
That's why I'm late."
The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes and yelled, "I can see
those are grass stains on your shoes. YOU DAMN LIAR! You've been
playing golf again, haven't you?"