SEX

Rating

LOUD SEX:

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,

doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out

this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural.

I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife

during a recent love-making session, How come you never tell me when you

have an orgasm?"

She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

DECEPTIVE SEX:

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One

afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to

her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love.

When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock.

They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his

shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he

asked thinking him pretty weird.

The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she

asked where he'd been. The man replied, "I cannot tell a lie. My

secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to

her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep.

That's why I'm late."

The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes and yelled, "I can see

those are grass stains on your shoes. YOU DAMN LIAR! You've been

playing golf again, haven't you?"