You may be an engineer
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You may be an engineer ...
- -If you introduce your wife as
"mylady@home.wife"
- -If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead
of calling you to dinner
- -If you can quote scenes from any Monty
Python movie
- -If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
- -If Dilbert is your hero
- -If you stare at an orange juice container
because it says CONCENTRATE
- -If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
- -If the only jokes you receive are through
e-mail
- -If your wrist watch has more computing power
than a 486DX-50
- -If your idea of good interpersonal
communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
- -If the best part of Christmas is putting
together the kids' toys
- -If you use a CAD package to design your
son's Pine Wood Derby car
- -If you have used coat hangers and duct tape
for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
- -If, at Christmas, it goes without saying
that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
- -If you window shop at Radio Shack
- -If your ideal evening consists of
fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
- -If you have "Dilbert" comics
displayed anywhere in your work area
- -If you carry on a one-hour debate over the
expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
- -If you are convinced you can build a phazer
out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
- -If you don't even know where the cover to
your personal computer is
- -If you have modified your can-opener to be
microprocessor driven
- -If you know the direction the water swirls
when you flush
- -If you own "Official Star Trek"
anything
- -If you have ever taken the back off your TV
just to see what's inside
- -If a team of you and your co-workers have
set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
- -If you ever burned down the gymnasium with
your Science Fair project
- -If you are currently gathering the
components to build your own nuclear reactor
- -If you own one or more white short-sleeve
dress shirts
- -If you have never backed-up your hard drive
- -If you are aware that computers are actually
only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
- -If you truly believe aliens are living among
us
- -If you have ever saved the power cord from a
broken appliance
- -If you have ever purchased an electronic
appliance "as-is"
- -If you see a good design and still have to
change it
- -If the salespeople at Circuit City can't
answer any of your questions
- -If you still own a slide rule and you know
how to work it
- -If the thought that a CD could refer to
finance or music never enters your mind
- -If you own a set of itty-bitty screw
drivers, but you don't remember where they are
- -If you rotate your screen savers more
frequently than your automobile tires
- -If you have a functioning home copier
machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
- -If you have more toys than your kids
- -If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
- -If you have introduced your kids by the
wrong name
- -If you have a habit of destroying things in
order to see how they work
- -If your I.Q. number is bigger than your
weight
- -If the microphone or visual aids at a
meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
- -If you can remember 7 computer passwords but
not your anniversary
- -If you have memorized the program schedule
for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
- -If you have ever owned a calculator with no
equal key and know what RPN stands for
- -If your father sat 2 inches in front of your
family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you
grew up thinking that was normal
- -If you know how to take the cover off of
your computer, and what size screw driver to use
- -If you can type 70 words a minute but can't
read your own handwriting
- -If people groan at the party when you pick
out the music
- -If you can't remember where you parked your
car for the 3rd time this week
- -If you did the sound system for your senior
prom
- -If your checkbook always balances
- -If your wristwatch has more buttons than a
telephone
- -If you have more friends on the Internet
than in real life
- -If you thought the real heroes of
"Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
- -If you think that when people around you
yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
- -If you spend more on your home computer than
your car
- -If you know what http:// stands for
- -If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
- -If you have a neatly sorted collection of
old bolts and nuts in your garage
- -If your three year old son asks why the sky
is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
- -If your lap-top computer costs more than
your car
- -If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine
2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate
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