Perfect Day

Rating

The Perfect Day According To : 

HER
8:45       Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00       5 pounds lighter on the scale
9:30       Light breakfast
11:00      Sunbathe
12:30      Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45       Shopping
2:30       Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's  gained 30lbs
3:00       Facial, massage, nap
7:30       Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00      Make love
11:30      Pillow talk in his big strong arms

HIM
10:00      Wake up
10:02      Oral sex
10:10      Big Breakfast
11:30      Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters
2:15       Enormous lunch
3:15       Oral sex
3:25       Play sports with the guys
4:30       Drink beer with the guys
6:30       Meet Claudia Schiffer
6:40       Oral sex
6:50       Huge dinner, more beer
11:00      Full on, get down, gorilla sex
11:10      Sleep

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)

10.  I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

9.  There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)

8.  I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

7.  My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may 
hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6.  I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).

5.  I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the 
same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4.  It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)

3.  I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better 
than dating you.)

2.  I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)

1.  Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can  tell you in excruciating detail about 
all the other men I meet  and have sex with.  It's that male perspective thing)



Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually mean...)

10.  I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)

9.  There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)

8.  I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)

7.  My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)

6.  I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)

5.  I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)

4.  It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)

3.  I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)

2.  I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)

...and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

1.  Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)

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