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Osama bin Laden
Wanted Dead or Alive
Click here for the Taliban song while you read the jokes (155KB)
Click here to hear our latest attack on the Taliban (1.75MB)
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Diplomacy at its best.  Click "Play" to see the Movie.
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Come mister Taliban, Turn over Bin Laden.  Click to see the Movie.
Muslim Countries Campaign
Some of the extreme fundamentalist Muslim countries are now requiring
all Muslim girls over the age of 18 to shave
all their pubic hair as a sign of defiance to the West.
International news reporters are saying that the anti-Bush campaign has
gone too far.

Travel Alert!
Bin Ladden could already be in the US.
Mr. Bailey has already put together some photo's of what he might look like today.
Report any contacts directly to the FBI, do not try and date him!


FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitive
Follow the link above to go to the FBI 10 most wanted list
Looks like he has also been screwing more than just the US
Our last Bushwacker intelligence shows him working at a local 7-11 store
Here is how we think he looks without his turban
Even as the US and the rest of the world, get ready for one of the biggest manhunt ever
Speaking of hunting
Here's looking at you!
A special introduction greeting card from Boeing to Osama (requires PowerPoint)
Can you say surprise!
Can you say "Hello"
More like US vs. Them
 Reconnaissance also shows many of Osama's troops on the move to counter the US build up
In some cities Afghani missiles are starting to fall
That is if we don't catch him trying to flee with his girlfriend
And I have only one thing to say
Time to do some ass wiping
Our architects here have already filed the plans for the new World Trade Center
This is strictly my view, but I believe when we catch him (and we will)
we will take him for a swim in the San Francisco bay
Maybe it would help if Bush spoke to them on their level
Two of America's biggest fears
Just look at the new movies' products and magizines that will come from this
Monkey Bin?
In stores now for Christmas
Round up all the usual suspects

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Need more? Follow the links above for additional Osama websites
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The FBI has it's 10 Most Wanted list, here is the "Bushwacker's 15 most wanted list"
Warning: These people are dangerous 
At no point should you try to apprehend them, re-elect them, or even take them seriously

Bin Run-in

Al "still counting chads" Gore

Bin Cheat-in

Bill "who's that intern" Clinton

Bin Snort-in

Marion "take-a-hit" Barry

Bin Bought-in

Gray "bought and paid for" Davis

Bin Steal-in

Hillary "take that furniture" Clinton

Bin Jive-in

Johnnie "if the turban fits you must convict" Cochran

Bin Stroke-in

Jessie "never had a job" Jackson

Bin Wac-in

Janet "Rambo" Reno

Bin Rat-in

Linda" she did it" Tripp

Bin Bite-in

Mike "assault and battery" Tyson

Bin Lie-in

O. J. "the blade" Simpson

Bin Screech-in

Roseanne" star spangle banner" Barr

Bin Swim-in

Teddy "the fish" Kennedy

Bin Skate-in

Willie "freeloader" Brown

Bin Party-in

The ring leader 
of the group

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This makes you think

After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six and injured 1,000, President
Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S. military personnel,
Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19 and injured 200
U.S. military personnel, Clinton promised that those would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224 and injured 5,000,
Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39 U.S. sailors,
Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, an estimated 7,000 people would be alive today.

This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show.
Without casting stones, it is a legitimate question:

There are two men, both extremely wealthy.
One develops relatively cheap software and gives hundreds of millions of dollars to charity.
The other sponsors terrorism. That being the case, why is it that Clinton spent more
money chasing down Bill Gates than Osama bin Laden?

I guess that's another reason I voted for Bush
Follow the link on the logo above to remember that election

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Another good one
The Saudi Ambassador to the U.N. has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where
he meets his American counterpart. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have
just one question about what I have seen in America" The American says "Well your Excellency, anything 
I can do to help you I will do." The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it 
there are Russians and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. 
He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."

The American laughs and leans over. "That's because it takes place in the future."

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A special note from the editor:

War can be a brutal event.
We tend to sit back in our living rooms, and view the barrage of information that comes across our television.
We easily can become de-sensitized the real to the true gravity and danger of the battle front.
Lives may be ended or altered forever during the heat of battle.
When I first saw this photo, my heart was instantly brought face to face with the cold reality of battle.
Yet at the same time, made me proud of who I am.
This moment of conflict, on some distant shore, truly captures the spirit and cause of fighting for what is right.
But a word of warning: You may not want to look at first due to the disturbing content.
But the more you look, the more you will likely be drawn to and inspired by this moment.
It may even cause you to want to join in the fight. I hope it does.
Please take a silent moment to view this tragedy. Remember that all of us can be proud, and be brave...

God Bless America.

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In light of recent world events, there has been much discussion about "Towel-heads."
It is unfair to profile and characterize all "towel-heads" as bad or evil. In fact, there are some good "towel-heads."
In fact, it is your civic duty to be able to distinguish between good and evil towel-heads!
Suppose, for instance, you were walking down a dark alley and encounter a towel-head...what would you do?
Knowing the difference between good and evil is paramount.

The difference between some Uzi carrying dirt-bag, camel fucking bad towel-head
and a good towel-head can sometimes be the difference between life and death.

So that you can make a clear distinction, I have attached photographs of a bad towel-head and a good "Towel-head."
You must study the pictures carefully so that you will not confuse the two in a moment of indecision . ..
it could save your life!

Now then.....


Bad Towel-head                                   Good Towel-head

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The ultimate response to a Dear John letter...
You gotta love a man like this.   Humor in the face of defeat.

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a
letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with
two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she
wanted pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around
to his  buddies and collected  all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to
his girlfriend with the following note:
 "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your
picture and send the rest back."

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